I did my career in reverse…

I managed to do my football career in reverse. I started at the top and then slowly worked my way down.

It is easy to get lost in non-league football. Jamie Vardy is the exception not the rule. I could honestly reel of a long list of Premier league players who would struggle. It is a different game- more physical, less organised, more spontaneous I always had the impression that no-one ever quite knew what to do with me. They could see that I had some ability, but most of the managers I met seemed a bit unsure what to do with it. Could he do it on a cold, rainy day in Stoke springs to mind. Except it would be more like a cold, rainy night in Tooting and Mitcham. It didn’t help that my ankles seemed to be made out of chocolate and my knees of glass.

I was lucky enough to briefly have Terry Venables as my manager. He was charismatic, intelligent, concise and astute. I learnt more from him in three years than I did anyone else I encountered in football. In my time in non-league football I never had a manager who developed me in any way as a footballer, but I met some of the biggest and funniest characters I have ever met. The majority of non-league managers exchange knowledge and advice for volume and swearing. “We have to do f**** better,” rather than how we were going to do better. After one such half time team talk I was then told off by a manager when I was trying to work out what to do in the second half with a fellow overrun midfielder,, we were talking about how to get another body into midfield as we were outnumbered two to three.

“Don’t f**** talk about it, get out there and do something!” came the helpful advice as we were preety much thrown out of the changing room.

The best managers spot what is going wrong and adapt what they are doing.

My non- league career is worthy of the “more clubs than Seve Ballesteros” quote. At the end of my time as a player, I had to do a profile for the programme and list my previous clubs. After I got to about fifteen and was still counting they decided to just write down my best known five!

I always seemed to play better the higher up I played. I was once playing for Corinthians out in the Kent countryside. We weren’t very good and the manager didn’t have a clue, but we had good players because the pitch was immaculate, they had an indoor pitch for training and did a lovely pie. We had several ex-pros who were playing well; below themselves butt the manager kept playing his mtates in front of them and as a result the best players gradually left.

The whole club was built by a millionaire whose sons needed a team to play for. You had to clap the opponents off at the end of the game (hence the Corinthian part), and I got fined several times for walking off down the tunnel after heavy losses my competitiveness making me unable to give the other team a guard of honour. Anyway, this particular season the manager would play me for a few games then drop me for a few games and clearly was very unsure about me. Then Erith and Belvedere, who were a couple of leagues above, came in for me on loan. I went there and did well. Then when I returned to Corinthians the manager introduced me like I was a new signing. “Make sure you give him the ball as much as possible.” I was still the same player.

Three games later I was back as a sub!

Another time at Tonbridge FC, we had a good side and got to a cup final. Again I was in and out of the team. Before the final, the manager sat next to me and told me I was playing right midfield. He then spent ten minutes telling me exactly what he wanted me to do, when all I wanted to do was get out on the pitch for the warm up. All the other players were getting changed and ready for the warm up, laughing at my discomfort behind his back while I was still sat in my tracksuit trying to look interested. Then one of the other players popped his head around the door and asked what position he was playing. “Right midfield,” came the reply from the manager. I ended up playing up front.

My favourite story was playing for Erith and Belvedere for a manager who used to boast about beating seven crown court cases. He stole JCB’s for a living. After I left, the club was burnt to the ground and the land sold to Asda but I’m sure that had othing to do with him… In one particular game we were playing a team that he hated for some unknown reason. “Cut their throats while they’re sleeping, treat them like cozzers and grasses!” was a line I will never forget from the most colourful over-the-top team talk I have ever witnessed. Anyway we went out pumped up to ridiculous heights. Within ten minutes we were down to nine men. Two sendings off for outrageous challenges. The second player sent off, Sean Devine, actually ended up in the crowd trying to fight the crowd, he was our best player and went on to have a very good career in the football league. At one stage their was a mass brawl involving 21 players- I remember watching it from the half way line. At half time I couldn’t wait to see what the manager was going to say.

“Don’t know what’s wrong with you lads. I set you up for a game of football and you go out like a pack of animals!”

#football #soccer #manager #non-league #footballmanager #motivation

“If you’re pulling the strings, you can’t blame the puppets.”

– Anon

If winning isn’t important why do we keep score?

Researching my new book, I became quite nostalgic for what football used to be about. Looking at the 1991-92 season, the last one before the start of the Premier league, I saw that Leeds United, the champions, were the only team to qualify for the old Champions league. The ONLY team! Arsenal finished 4^th and it was a failure. Manchester United were second and that was not good enough. The only place to finish for everyone was first place. Every decent team at the start of the season aimed to win the league. I can’t stand the fact that teams now are fighting over fourth place. Fourth place! And now with Conference and Europa league some fans are happy finishing 5th or 6th so they can play in a European competition that they can compete in. I would love for it to return to being about winning trophies again. For me, a good season for a club of any size should always be based on silverware: League title, FA cup, league cup and the UCL.

Brings me onto European football. The Champions league. It bores me. Champions league, yet you don’t have to be Champions to qualify for the tournament. A bit like America with their penchant for calling everything the World series even if it is only them taking part. Up to the knockout stages the Champions league is tedious, and I rarely watch. But the Champions league now is where the money is and consequently that is why fourth place is so important to everyone. I am always disappointed when I hear fans celebrating a place in the top four and yet barely raising a complaint when their club doesn’t even try to win any of the domestic cups.

There has even been a few times when it has felt that teams have spent more time looking over their shoulder and aiming for top four than risking it and going for the title. Arsenal were always a good example of this at the end of Wenger’s reign. One or two players from a serious tile challenge but seemingly happy as long as they got their top four spot. I got the impression that Tottenham were doing that recently but their transfer dealings at the last window suggest that they may be actually going for it. I hope more teams will follow suit.

As a footnote, Sheffield Wednesday finished third that year having only been promoted that season. They were only 3 points behind Manchester United and only lost one more game than Leeds United. Trevor Francis was player-manager that year. Not sure he ever got the credit he deserved. But then I guess he never won anything…

Education my part in its downfall (part 2)

In the first part I spoke about how education in the UK has changed in my 20 years as a teacher, and not for the better. I spoke about the teacher crisis I had experienced and started to talk about how children have changed, specifically the children in the areas I had taught in. I am now going to move on to the controversial subject of parents. If you did not read the first part then you can find it on my website http://www.anthonypottsauthor.com.

There has been a gradual move in the relationship between teachers and parents in the UK. It used to be that you worked as a team. Both parties understood that they wanted the best for the children and it was the starting point of all interactions. Over time this has changed. For example, when I started teaching if I got in touch with a parent about an issue with a child. The parent would be horrified and apologetic at the same time. A meeting would be arranged promptly. In the meeting the focus would be wholly on the child and how you could both work together to get past whatever the problem was. Fast forward to the present day. First of all, arranging a meeting would be very problematic. Phone calls are ignored, arranged meetings cancelled or the parents might not show up at all. Now, if a parent agrees to the meeting quickly, it is often a bad sign. It soon becomes clear that the meeting is going to be ambushed as a chance for the parents to vent on what they see as the real issue to be. The modern relationship between teacher and parent is one of distrust. If I was having a wall built and had bricklayers over to give me a quote, I wouldn’t dream of telling them how to build it. Not in education, increasingly at these meetings I am being told how to do my job. This lack of respect for the profession can be placed directly back to the attitudes of the media and government.

It always amazes me that parents will take the word of their children over that of a teacher. If your teacher is telling you that your child is a nightmare, then they are a nightmare. It is not in the teacher’s interest to lie. You may be able to argue the toss over individual incidents but I promise you that you would be shocked if you actually saw how they behave at school. Did you never lie to your parents? Just think who has the most to gain out of the lie. Your child who might get in trouble or your teacher whose job depends on your child making progress. I have lost count of the amount of times I have seen parents shouting at and threatening teachers. Often in front of the children. I have seen grown men and women raging with anger and yet when the incident that has caused them such anger is investigated it has turned out to be nothing more than a misunderstanding. No apology is forthcoming. A new phenomenon is social media groups in which parents join forces via social media to criticize and chastise teachers and schools. I saw a group called “Mrs _______ is a B****” I kid you not. And yes, teachers do hear about and read the content of these groups. Don’t get me wrong these parents are still the minority but it is rising year on year. I fear that it will soon be the majority.

To finish the second part, I am going to talk about testing. Many parents love tests. Most teachers do too. It gives us an idea at where the children are and it helps us plan to help move the children on. We do also recognize that you cannot make judgements on children based on tests. Some children do not test well. On the day of the test it can be affected by many things right down to whether the child had breakfast that morning. If you internalize testing and use it just for your school it can be very useful. The minute you start using the data from tests to judge teachers, schools, boroughs then you are entering the land of make-believe. There are children in this country living in poverty, are neglected, homeless, in broken families. Is there anyone who thinks they are going to make the same progress as the average child from a middle-class background? A child who has three hot meals a day, has seen the world, whose parents can afford a tutor, who has their own space to work, who has access to books, who has professional parents – people for whom education has been a positive experience. For every argument flip it for the alternative. I could continue but I am sure you get the point. The borough get it in the neck from the government if their results don’t match the rest of the country. The headteachers then get it in the neck from the borough if they don’t match the other schools. The senior management team then get it in the neck from the headteachers so they in turn pass it on to the teachers. It really is true that s*** really does travel downhill! The problem is what you get is what you get. Ask any teacher they all know which class in their school is the good one and which one is the nightmare. Teachers talk, “Hopefully I won’t still be in year 4 when 2c get there,” is not an uncommon thing to hear. You see them coming from nursery! The problem is at some schools there are more nightmare classes than good. The only way to get the same results is for schools from less privileged areas to become test machines. Churning out children in preparation for a test.  This is verging on neglect. Not giving the children skills to learn independently or giving them a broad curriculum able to go where the learning takes them. There is literally not the time in the day to have a conversation with a child anymore – these are children who need to be heard, need to feel listened to. For many school is their safe place. But instead, they are cramming for a pointless test just so that the school isn’t deemed as failing. I believe that is called an oxymoron. Why don’t teachers say no? It is their job. They have a mortgage. They have to play the game. They won’t be listened to. They are judged by numbers the same as the children. I taught a child who had his brother stabbed to death on the build up to the test. They gave him 5 extra marks. I had to attend a meeting where I was asked why he didn’t pass.

Education- My part in its downfall (part 1)

In my last years teaching as a primary school teacher in inner London I believe it is fair to say that there was a crisis in recruiting new teachers. When I started teaching back in 1999 if you needed a teacher you advertised, held interviews and then picked the best candidate. In the last few years, you either employed the only candidate and hoped that your doubts would be unfounded or carried on muddling through without enough staff to give the children the education they deserved. On many occasions you just kept re-advertising as there would be no applicants – good or bad. Not that there was a lack of qualified teachers, countless great teachers had left the profession. A teacher over 50 with a wealth of experience and knowledge is a rarity. When I started teaching, they were the people who you learned from and who kept the school on an even keel. The voices of reason.

At this point I should make it clear that, in general, I do not like teachers. I have not always been a teacher and feel like I lived a life before going into the profession. Many teachers went to school, left school then returned to school as a teacher. They have been in an education bubble and know little about many important things in the outside world. Like institutionalised prisoners. They have high opinions of themselves and have an inflated sense of their importance. They moan about how hard they work and can be anal about the most pointless of details. A staff meeting at a Primary school is like a scene out of The Office. Arguments about what colour folders they should have, how big a tick should be and what type of ruler to order. They can’t wait to criticise another member of staff and have an opinion on everyone and everything. They moan about policies behind closed door then follow blindly even when they know that what they are being told to do is flawed or worse still damaging (hands up on that one).

But… they are the most dedicated, hardworking and conscientious people you will ever meet. They take their work home with them and work ridiculous hours for no extra pay. They are passionate about their jobs to the point of obsession. If you were to go for a meal or a few drinks with a group of teachers (and if you are not a teacher, I do not recommend it) then the conversation is invariably about work. I have many other friends and the last thing they want to talk about is their job, unless they have a funny story to tell. But teachers will easily fall into the most inane conversation about phonics or resources or some other mundane feature of their working day. They take any criticism to heart unable to get past it. Many verge on insomnia unable to switch off from their work. They are stressed, guilt-ridden, tired-looking people, many are on medication. Their home lives suffer terribly from the demands that they and their schools put on them. Like nurses, doctors, firemen and the police force they are criticised and undervalued in equal measures. They, like education in the UK, are broken.

Reason 1- children

Today’s children have an ingrown sense of entitlement. They do not hear the word no nearly enough  and always feel like they are owed something. Let me give you some examples. I was coaching football for Charlton Athletic it was a free coaching course and every day the children (who had not paid a penny) were given a raffle ticket. When the week was finished, we had a draw and a child won a bike. The next thing we know the child is crying and the parents are fuming and kicking off. Why? The free bike is too big!

Another time, I was doing booster clubs for exams after school, for free, in my own time. The children were weeks away from their exams and in danger of not passing. The club was put on because we wanted to support the children as much as possible and their parents could not afford tutors. It was immediately after school, but half of the children turned up over halfway through the class, stinking of smoke. When I questioned them, I was told they had gone to the chippie. When I said that they should have come straight to the class I was told that I was lucky they were there at all! Their future not mine. Many had no respect for adults, each other or themselves. But it wasn’t their faults. Really. It wasn’t. They had been exposed to more in their short lives than I had in my lifetime. Through the internet, video games and sadly in their own neighbourhoods and houses. They had seen and experienced things that most adults shouldn’t see or experience. Many of them live in poverty. If you could break through their barriers there was still a nervous, wide-eyed child struggling to get out. In fact, that would be the most rewarding moment in your profession. Unfortunately, many never escape, too deeply entrenched – protecting themselves from their lives. The number of damaged children in our schools is growing year on year – meanwhile the people who used to help and support them are being lost to the profession. The first to lose their jobs as government cuts take their toll. Special needs teams are ravaged and fast disappearing in many schools. The very schools where they are more needed than ever.

I will pause here and continue this into my next blog. Where I will look at the other reasons why teaching as a profession in England is in peril:

• Parents
• Tests
• The government
• Management

As a note to give some balance. Obviously, I have generalised in this blog, and it is based on my limited experiences. There are some wonderful teachers whom I have encountered in my teaching career who can leave their jobs at the door and who I feel privileged to say are my friends. In the same way that there are many well-balanced, well cared for children who light up your days as a teacher. Worryingly the balance has shifted and continues to do so.

‘Ave it (Part 2) My guide to grassroots football without the grass!

I have been looking forward to writing this second half. If you recognise anyone that you have played who matches my descriptions, please feel free to tag them or copy this and change the names. I could have named four or five for every position!  I can see myself in three or four of them! Remember you can read the first part and all my other blogs at ww.anthonypottsauthor.com Enjoy!

1. El Loco – Mitchell

This is the goalkeeper. Size and fitness are the first attributes. Either tall enough to look like a keeper or too big to run around. I have named these as El Loco because they will often come charging off their line at the most random of moments. This never ends well. Their own defenders as well as their opponents can testify to this. Secretly have dreams of being a striker.

2. Out of harm’s way – Grant

I hesitated naming a player here for obvious reasons. These players are normally the salt of the earth. They never miss a game. Normally right in the middle of everything socially, and very well liked. They are also consistent. Consistently S***! At least they can be relied on. Full back is where they end up as it is the spot you can do least damage from. These are the players where when they kick the ball no-one knows where it is likely to end up – least of all them.

3. On the Launch Pad – Matt

Every team has one of these. It could be the friendliest game ever. Bible club United vs Good Samaritans FC this player is just waiting for a chance to launch themselves two-footed at an opponent’s mid-rift. Then after the ensuing scuffle they will plead their innocence as if they were being wronged. Self-control is not an attribute they possess, and they are only put at fullback to limit the opportunities for take-off. Warning: DO NOT PLAY THIS PLAYER AT CENTRAL MIDFIELD. 80 minutes is a long time to play with 10 men.

• 4. Defensive midfielder – Tony

A little bit of history here. Before Claude Makalele and Championship manager there was no such thing as a defensive midfielder, DM, Anchor man, holding midfielder, Deep lying playmaker etc. Instead, there was a central midfielder who was expected to run around a lot. Defending and attacking. Think Bryan Robson, Roy Keane and Patrick Viera. In Sunday football the defensive midfielder is a specialist position. You need to have once been a good player who can now no longer run. This position is a career extender.

5. The Unit – Ben

Like El Loco the first attributes for this position is size. These players rarely go to  ground like On The Launch Pad (It would take too long to get back up). They do though play by the mantra of the ball or the player. As in, only one will get past. These players play in straight lines as they have a very wide turning circle. Once they start on a course they do not deviate. Interesting to note that although often 6’4 plus they often never head the ball.

6. Ping – Daniel

This is a player who can kick the ball over long distances at great accuracy. This is a great skill that they are very proud off.  As a consequence, their radar does not function at less than 50 yards. Do not bother calling for the ball unless you are further than the requisite distance. You will not receive it. Cannot play further forward as there is not enough pitch to work with.

7. Tricky Winger – Mark

I have used tricky, but I should probably have used fast. These players are often light and quick. Prone to unnecessary step-overs, they are the natural prey of On The Launch Pad. On occasion known to pass, although not often. Playing style of head down and run. Another player who can often run out of pitch. If you are a forward playing with a Tricky Winger hoping for a cross, don’t bother. In later years with weight gain Tricky Wingers often turn into On The Launch Pad or even Out of Harm’s way.

8. Love of the Game –  Steve

Lives for the game. This player will run all day and demand the ball at every opportunity. They will take throw ins, free-kicks, penalties and corners. Can play anywhere and usually does. No formation can tie him down. Will play in any conditions and when everyone else thinks, it is too cold, too wet, too dangerous, too dark, too covered in 5 foot of snow they will still try to get the game to go ahead. These players are in most danger in Summer as without football they cannot function.

9. Bambi on Ice – Carlton

THE single most frustrating player. They cannot play football. They are clumsy, uncoordinated and without ability. But, somehow, they score goals! Off knees, backsides and faces; the ball has the uncanny knack of finding the back of the net. Their second touch is usually a tackle, their third a goal. Cannot play anywhere else as without the goals they bring nothing to the party. Every level has these players. Think Lukaku and work your way down.

10. Semi Pro – Ryan

This is a player who is too good for this level. And they know it. They get paid to play on a Saturday and use the Sunday to do all the things they can’t do on a Saturday. It doesn’t matter what their real position is, on a Sunday they WILL play central midfield or striker. There is no such thing as an easy pass for these players. Every possession is a chance to show off. Frustrating to the rest of the team for whom this is their main game of football, the Semi Pro has no interest in the result. In the end, they are deemed as a necessary evil as they can often win the game by themselves.

11. Fairweather player – Jack

These players are difficult to spot on a cold and wintry day or if you are losing as they often go missing. On a cold day they wear 5 tracksuits and a woolly hat which they only remove at kick off. In my book I talk about 21 player brawls. This is the player who is missing. In the summer they are unreplaceable especially if you are winning. At this point they can be your most impressive player. They try and live off these performances during the Winter months. Can only run in one direction – towards the opponent’s goal.

12. Wanabee manager – Mr S

The ‘A bit of Knowledge is a dangerous thing’ award goes to this player. Team talks by the real manager are often interrupted by this player. They are to be avoided in the bar at the end of the game as they will walk you through the last 90 minutes in great detail, often with the aid of visual prompts. During games they  can be seen throwing their hands up at every mistake made by every other players; toys rarely stay in prams.

13. Functioning Alcoholic – Jamie

These players will often miss games, for obvious reasons. Avoid sitting next to these players in the changing room as the alcohol seeping out their pours can be intoxicating. Often they have played at a very high level, but they rarely mention it. On their day they are unplayable as it is only their lifestyle that has stopped them being a proper player. The line behind failing because they drank or drinking because they failed can get very blurred. As can their eyes on a Sunday morning. Always good for a story or two at the end of the game.

14.  I could have been someone – Barry

Every team has one of these as does every pub. I could have been someone but… Every statement they make has you reaching for Google. Every story has you calling Bulls****. There are more holes in their stories than a tea bag but they have told them for so long they now actually believe them. These players are never available to play, they would give the game away if that happened!

NO NUMBER The Ringer – Darren

Closely related to the Semi-Pro, these are generally players who should not be anywhere near Sunday football. They play under assumed names. The Sunday team manager will tell them not to get booked under any circumstances, but if you do; remember your name is Grant. One of my oldest and best friends was often a ringer. He played semi-professionally but had a contract that meant he could not play Sunday football. This did not stop him. Rules for a ringer are to play within yourself, don’t make things too obvious. Not Darren. He was scoring three, four or five goals a game. Word soon got to his manager who went incognito to see for himself. Darren scored a wonder goal and slid on his knees in celebration – stopping inches from his managers feet. He was sacked on Monday morning!

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‘Ave It! A guide to the English phenomina of Sunday football!

‘Ave It! A guide to the English phenomina of Sunday football!

This blog is about an English phenomena: Sunday football. There are over 11 million people in the UK currently playing Sunday football. I am going to give you a tongue-in-cheek lowdown on what you might expect if you were to join a local Sunday side and for a bit of fun (in part 2) tell you some of the characters you are likely to come across. I have named these players after real people I have played with. If you have ever played or watched then I am sure you will recognise your own teammates in them.

The Sunday morning football story generally begins on a Saturday night. The unfortunate manager will be desperately trying to contact players to find out who is available. This is a thankless task and there are always a few that he is unable to contact. All the players will be part of some kind of group chat, but many will go missing the night before a game. Invariable the manager will get about 4 definites, 5 probables and then 5 uncontactables. There are many variables to this. What is the weather like? Are the players out drinking? If so how big a session is it? Plus injuries, many Sunday footballers have bad knees, ankles, backs etc. Sometimes they won’t know if they can play right up to the point that they step out of bed on Sunday morning and take their first step. The lesson here is not to commit too early. The morning of the game is another key moment in the selection process. It is now a carefully balanced equation of comfort of bed, severity of hangover, level of aches and pains,  distance to travel to game, how good the other team is and how cold or wet it is. Anyone of these factors could lead to a message being sent explaining to the manager how they are ill, having to work, injured or any other excuse they have not used too often in the recent past. It is then a mad panic for the manager to call anyone with a pulse. Starting with the better players and ending with literally anyone! You would be shocked at how far down the food chain this search can go. There are always players who sign up at the start of the year just in case their knee isn’t too bad, their job has eased off or their wife lets them out the house. “If ever you are struggling you can call on me I will be there mate.” As a rule, they are never available. Messages are sent out to all the players in the team to see if they have any friends who can play. This will be where a ringer may be called on. A ringer is a player who is not really a fully signed up member of the team. We will look at these players more in part two.

Finally, a team of sorts has been assembled and they turn up. Some are clearly still drunk. This is where the players who have cried off get found out by the team grasses. “I saw Rab at The Venue his knee seemed fine when he was throwing out shapes on the dancefloor,” or “What a liar, he told me he was going Bluewater with his missus.”

At this point the kit is the most important thing. The bigger players desperately trying to find one of the two extra large tops and shorts or the smaller players looking for the only small top and shorts. Trying to not look too ridiculous is very important. Then the socks. The first players there try and grab a pair with no holes and that have not shrunk so much that you can’t get them over your calves. The last players often look like they have got their washing mixed up with a ten-year-old child when they finally get out onto the pitch. It is a very careful calculation at this time. You want to get out early enough to be able to get your body functioning before kick-off. But you don’t want to have to put up the net. A horrible job, especially on a cold or rainy day. A good tip is to grab the corner flags. Then slowly walk around the pitch putting them in timing it perfectly so the nets are up by the time you finish.  By now there will be about ten minutes until kick off. So the warm up will begin. The warm up consists of all the players hanging around the edge of the box to kick a ball as hard as possible at the poor goalkeeper, often several footballs flying in his direction at the same time. What about having a run or a jog I hear you say. That is covered by the players all having to run and get the ball having more often than not missed the goal completely. For many players this is all done while smoking a cigarette trying to smoke enough to fill his lungs for 45 minutes of football.

It is now about 2 minutes until kick off and generally either the opposition, the referee or the rest of your team will now turn up. Sunday football never starts on time. The lesser players are now frantically doing the math. The worst job in the world is being a sub in Sunday football. There is never anything warm to wear. You also are now the physio, in charge of the valuables, in charge of the drinks and if there are no supporters (family or friends) you are now the linesman…

This is the worst job and not just in football. There is no flag, so you have to use a spare shirt or a cone or any item you can find. You will get dog abuse for the whole game. Often by players who don’t even understand the offside rule themselves. Often by your OWN team! Finally, you are forced to cheat. In Sunday football you have to cheat because you can guarantee the other team’s linesman will. It is a case of better to have everyone cheat than just one team, as that would be unfair. The level of cheating is down to your own moral compass. I have seen many levels of cheating, from the sublime to the ridiculous. I am now immune. Cheating linesmen is often the catalyst for the other Sunday football certainty. The fight.  I am not sure I have ever been involved in a Sunday morning football game where at the very least there will be two players who square off against each other. Players are always braver when there is a referee about. I have seen some bad fights but I have heard some shocking stories that have ended in hospital or prison. Sometimes both.

I just touched on the referees. These are a breed of their own. Powerless in their real lives they wallow in the power that whistle gives them. Think the teacher in Kes. Remember at school when you pick your teams and there was always that one kid left? This is their revenge. I actually have a friend who is a referee. I know, I know, don’t hate me. They are an odd breed, and he is no exception. Although to be fair he was a decent player, mind you he was a goalkeeper, so it doesn’t really count. It is a thankless job and more and more they are under threat of violence as lines are crossed in our modern society. It is worth remembering that without them there would be no game. Although to be fair they do try to ruin most of them.

Onto the pitch itself. Grass is a luxury. The pitches are all a variety of sizes, none of them regulatory. Most are broken ankles waiting to happen. Often they have slopes and inclines. Meaning that games can be played on just one side of the pitch or one end. Sometimes a 5-0 lead can not be enough following a half time change of ends. The slope is often the best player. I have played on pitches where it goes up hill to both ends. I have also played on pitches where goalkeeper kicks can be slingshot back to the taker by an overhanging telephone wire or tree branch. The worse ones are next to rivers or surrounded by houses and you spend most the game retrieving balls.

The game itself is the least noteworthy. Except to say it is not really football as you might know it. It is full of noise and bluster. You know they say about a swan being elegant above the water but working hard under it. Sunday football has no above the water. Everyone is an expert, everyone has an opinion. Actual knowledge is as rarely sighted as big foot, but it is ok as no one is listening anyway. In their heads they are all Messi and Ronaldo. Artists with the field as their canvas, In reality, they are more painting by numbers trying unsuccessfully to stay within the lines. At the end of the game the next game is avoiding being lumbered with taking the kit home to wash. In the bar after, you would have thought it was El Galacticos who were playing by the way the events of the game are described. Every stumble a feint every miskick a disguised pass.

Despite all these things I have made lifelong friends through Sunday football. Had some of the funniest times and have stories to last a lifetime. I pray that Covid does not ruin true grass roots football for it will be a worse place without it.

Don’t forget to look out for part 2 where I address the many different characters of Sunday football.

If you want to read the last blogs then you can find them at www.anthonypottsauthor.com

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Cheats never prosper – My guide to diving without water

I can remember Pogba telling Shaw that he should have gone down (not dived, we will come to that later) when the defender made contact with him in the area. Just before Pogba told him to go down I thought the same thing. My opinion on diving is different from a lot of people. Therefore, I have written my guide to diving without water.

The Oscar

For this think when Rivaldo got a player sent of at the world cup. The ball was thrown at him and it him on his knee. He went down holding his face. He then rolled about for a few minutes. This sort of thing gives football a bad name. It is players pretending that they have been punched or elbowed to try and get a fellow pro sent off. If someone punches or elbows you in the face, fine go down. Draw attention to it. If not get on with the game.

Verdict

Not acceptable, any attempt to get a player sent off for something they didn’t do is embarrassing and should face a huge ban and fine. Video footage is easily used because it is clear. Someone gets pushed in their chest and they go down holding their face. There are no excuses. Modern football gets a bad name through theses actions. I have even started to see big tough defenders doing it.

We have contact

I know people with disagree with me on this. If you are in the area and you feel contact, you should go down. Shaw should have got a penalty when Pogba told him. He had touched the ball past the last defender and the defender caught him making him lose control of the ball. It is a foul, but referees never give it unless the attacker goes down. In the area if you have the ball then there is a chance to score, If there is contact on you it can unbalance you or put you off and stop the chance of a  goal. The defender has made the mistake you need to make sure the referee does his job. To my mind it is a professional sport and players need to be professional. The defender who makes a mistimed tackle or tries to make a desperate attempt to put you off when you are shooting is the one who should be punished. If you stay on your feet, then the chance could be lost. I see people in nostalgic football groups say that this never used to happen. This type of “dive” has always happened. My coaches who would have a go at me if I did the same as Shaw and tried to stay on my feet had been professional footballers in the 70’s and 80’s and their coaches had been telling them the same thing. Pogba’s mistake was he did it on the pitch. I can guarantee that in the changing room Shaw will have been told more than once that he should have gone down.

Verdict

Not even a dive. The referee should give the penalty but if you don’t go down, he won’t. Make him make a decision.

No defence

This is when defenders have the ball normally facing their own corner flag with an attacker close behind them. The defender collapses forward as if he has been hit by a bus from behind. The referee always gives the free kick even though the defenders dive is normally laughable. Some defenders even grab the ball as they fall to really give the referee a problem.

Verdict

Take away their defender’s licence. Defenders should show no pain, wear long metal studs in all weathers and never ever dive.

Sniper

This is the one that on TV looks awful. The attacker toe pokes the ball then throws themselves to the floor and rolls about like they have stood on a mine. A quick look on YouTube will get some hilarious results. This looks the worst when the defender pulls out the tackle but the player has already committed to the dive. You could drive a National express coach between the two players the defender is so far away. VAR should eradicate this sort of dive.

Verdict

Not acceptable. Ruins football’s reputation. This is cheating.

Big boys don’t cry

Think Neymar. In the empty stadiums you can now hear the screams as players try to win free kicks. The danger is cry wolf. In the past a player screaming meant serious injury, so the game gets stopped. Now referees cannot be sure, so they play on. I have now seen the hitting-the-floor-in-pain being faked. That used to be another sign of serious injury. Players are clever they have realised that hitting the floor and not rolling around looks serious. They now fake a serious injury to try and win a free kick or break up a counterattack.

Verdict

If a player looks seriously injured, then doesn’t limp for at least 5 minutes afterwards then someone should be allowed to two-foot them with no punishment! Let the punishment fit the crime. Seriously though have a bit of pride and get up and run back.

The initiator

I admire the skill factor of this one, but it is as bad as the no contact dive. This is rife in the modern game and needs to be eradicated. Kane, Grealish, Fernandes, Salah, basically think top player and they do it. The defender does nothing wrong except get close. Kane will toe poke the ball straight then run across the defender’s path forcing the contact then go down. Grealish will touch it past the defender then actually kick the defender and go down himself. Think Bruno Fernandes’s stamp on the defender that won the penalty. Salah will poke it past the sliding keeper and not run after the ball but wait for the keepers momentum to eventually make contact.

Verdict

So difficult to stop. Think innocent until proven guilty. You can see the contact, you are sure the attacker made it,  but so hard to prove. Players need to step up and take the lead. Like a gun amnesty. No punishment but everyone just agree to stop. I know – never going to happen but it needs to as it is killing the game. In the end there will be stoppages every thirty seconds. VAR being used every two minutes.

Offside lino!?

The idea of clear and obvious seems to have been kicked to the kerb with VAR officials actively searching for ways to disallow goals. The general consensus seems to be a push towards just using VAR for offsides. Indeed this week saw the debut of ‘Semi-Automated Offside technology’ a technology that takes the fitst steps towards taking human error out of offsides in football. Below is the goal that wasn’t given by the Semiautomatic offside technology. Schick was offside by the tip of his toenail.

Yes, that bit in black.

There can be no arguing, to the letter of the law this is offside. Surely now we can all be happy knowing that there will never be a wrong decision with regards to offside. One less thing to worry about with regards to VAR.

Except is this really what offside is a part of football for? To disallow goals because of a toenail?

The rule was originally brought in to prevent goalhanging back in the 19th Century. The offside rule was an attempt to prevent football from descending into a game of long punts towards crowds of players milling around the goal.

I have experience of it, I used to coach the Charlton U12 Academy side and in their matches there were no offsides. The idea was the game was on small pitches and they did not want a lot of stopping and starting, the idea was meant to help the children get as many touches of the ball as possible in the time allowed. They wanted the games to flow and, as this level of football is all about improving players, they did not think it would be open to abuse.

Unfortunately, about six games into the season we played Crystal Palace and their coach positioned their striker on the penalty spot and told him not to come any deeper. Within 2 minutes they had scored from a long punt forward to the forward, who I had not even noticed as he was so far behind the game. It was a conundrum for me as I did not want to tell my defenders that they also had to stand around in the area as this would be a fake situation that would do them more harm than good in their development. So I told my team to ignore him and play the same way we always did. I’m thankful to say that with the extra player (it was only 7 a side) we played some great football and won the game 6-4 – all their goals coming from the ‘goalhanger’ two of them straight from long goalkicks to him. I can honestly say it was the only game I coached at that level where the result mattered to me, just because I felt the other team’s coach had lost his way in trying to take advantage of a rule to win a game rather than do his actual job.

Obviously, therefore, the offside rule is a rule that is needed to prevent the beautiful game from becoming a tennis match.

Which brings me to the current rule…

This goal should have been one of the great moments of the 2022/23 season, a 25 yard howitzer, instead it took VAR the best part of 5 minutes to decide a player was offside by the smallest of margins from the original cross.

So my question is: is disallowing a goal because of a toenail in the true spirit of the rule?

If like me you don’t think so and that we shouldn’t need space-age semi-automated technology to decide if someone is onside, then what is the answer?

How about this: Get rid of all the lines, and fancy gadgets. The reason we wanted VAR for offside goals in the first place was to stop the travesties of justice. The goals where players were clearly offside and yet the officials made a howler leaving fans feeling cheated. You don’t need state-of-the-art technology for that. Just 2 people in a room watching a screen. Just like at the moment, if they think it may be offside then they check it, but with their eyes watching from just a couple of cameras and make the decision within a couple of minutes. If on first view it is not clear if it was offside or if they both cant agree, then stick with the decision on the pitch.

Lets get the advantage back to the attacker.

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Bluffers, Blaggers and the coaches ego!